From the Greek for 'without pleasure', anhedonia is defined as 'losing the ability to get pleasure from things you used to enjoy'.įurthermore, I discovered that anhedonia is known to doctors and researchers as a symptom of depressive disorders.īut you don't need to be depressed to experience it. So, there was a name for this state of 'blah'.įrom the Greek for 'without pleasure', anhedonia is defined as 'losing the ability to get pleasure from things you used to enjoy' The piece was by a psychologist who called this state of existence 'anhedonia'. One of the first headlines that jumped out was: 'Don't enjoy anything any more? There's a name for that.' In 0.63 seconds, the offer of 6,770,000,000 results flashed up on my screen. With my oblivious husband, Anthony, asleep next to me, it seemed like the ultimate whinge to be Googling 'Why aren't I enjoying my life?' Until late one night, in bed, I went in search of an explanation. After all, what right did I have to moan when, every day, my social media and news feeds were filled with people dealing with mental health difficulties, tragedy, war and loss? Shouldn't I just count my blessings and stop being such a miserable cow?ĭespite telling myself to get a grip, the question still niggled. My emotions - both happy and sad - were flatlining. When everyone around me looked like they were having fun, I had to put on a mask. I felt indifferent at parties and social events. A major publisher was offering a generous five-figure sum for a history book I'd always wanted to write, but instead of feeling joy, I felt nothing at allĪfter that day, I started being aware of this strange disconnect more and more.
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